“WE ARE WHAT WE WERE AS CHILDREN” (Unpublished)

We all have been asked one time or another this question “who are you going to be when you grow up?” 

The answer varies depend upon one’s reference.  A child can answer this question making reference to his favorite play or a simple admiration of one’s role model. On the other hand a child can just react according to what is surrounding him.  Some children made reference to a very well define play. It can be things and themes that they are playing with such as (play a house, play a family, play a hospital, play a school, play a handy man, play a church etc). These particular play went on for many years until life decided that there are steps to take in order to become nurses or any other functions in the medical field or any field. 

African parents/ mothers in particular have a great concern about children’s childhood because they are aware that one’s leadership like one’s personality finds its roots in the childhood.  Earlier events in the childhood life play an important role in adulthood.  As such, a great attention is paid to whoever has a role to play in the life of a child.  We know that human being is the quickest copying mind.  It is important that the play be observed and explored careful by the parents when the child plays.  The more attentive and observant parents are, the less wonder they will be about who their child is going to be in the future. 

I remember growing up in the village.  My sister and I never played another game but a hospital.  We both played nurses and one of our cousin played nurse’s aide or assistant nurse. We played the hospital every day.  A year later, another cousin wanted to join us in the play.  She was given the role of patient. It became a routine to set up a hospital with some fake medical equipment (microscope, stethoscope, injection needles, and first aid box.)  

One day, my sister and I had discussion about who was going to be a patient for that day because our cousin who played the patient was not available. My sister appointed me to be the patient but I had a problem with that I refused then, I asked her to be the patient but she responded by saying that “a nurse never get sick”. I paused for minute to think and I said to her that if nurses not suppose to get sick then we have a problem because we both are nurses.  She looked at me, then she smiled and said: “ the younger nurse can get sick and the older one will take good care of the younger nurse.” This debate lasted for about 20 minutes. Our father was listening and followed this debate until I started to become upset because the chronological of birth was been played at that moment. Our father came to mediate between my sister and me.  He told us that, it was not necessary to carry on the discussion because every one at one time or another will need care from others when that person is not able to take care for himself. We learned a very good lesson that no one is indispensable.  

It was obvious that the determination and the drive were leading to something. Our parents knew that something was developing out of the hospital play.  

After many years of playing hospital, we became what we had developed and explored in our childhood life.  My sister is now a very dedicated nurse with her own private clinic in Brazzaville, capital of Republic of Congo.  As for myself, I am a nurse and a psychologist providing clinical services here in Boston, Massachusetts for many years.  And our childhood helper cousin is now an anesthesiologist in the University Hospital in Kinshasa, Republic Democratic of Congo.  The other cousin, who joined us afterward, did not succeed. She had many health problems and sadly in early 80’s she passed way. We did try to help her in so many ways. My sister indeed was attending to her medical needs for years but she could not make it. 

 Growing up in the village as children, we all loved our grandmother very much bless her heart but she had other things set up in her mind for us such as professions.  She was determinate to think that I was going to become a teacher in the future. She also thought that my sister was going to be a secretary and our cousin was chosen to become a housewife and a good mother according to grandmother.  She is a good mother of 4 children but not a housewife. I guest we all disappointed grandmother at some point. But I still believe that grandmother and some other parents should explore their children’s play and stimulate their ideas to become who they need to become.  Sometimes parents have their own dreams that they hoped to fulfill but they could not. They become obesesed with their own picked profession for their children.

It is important to keep in mind that, with too much invasiveness and neglect from parents, a child sometimes has to spend his thought and energy coping with intrusiveness and disapproval instead spending time exploring and discovering himself.

Parents should make effort to observe, explore, and also encourage their children’s play as long as they offered a safe and unobtrusive space where children can discover themselves. I am not saying that every child’s play will turn out to that child’s profession.  But I believe there is chance that the play might be the child ‘s interest that parents could explore. Our mother tought my sister and I from pre-school to 3^rd grade.  In the course of receiving education from a family member who is also our mother would probably be tempting for her to suggest what career we should follow.  But our mother never suggested or forced us to think what kind profession we ought to follow.  She gave us encouragement in order to gain confidence. She praised us so we can learn to appreciate life. She showed us acceptance and friendship so we can learn to find love in the world.  

This is not by all mean a scientific findings but it helps to observe our children during their playtime.  Even at the level of having imaginary friends. I wanted to share this personal and amazing experience to across culture parents in the world.